@sageboggs: Just saw The Martian. If Matt Damon was alone on Mars, who was filming him that whole time? Clearly fake
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@AndyAsAdjective: Honey, you know the part in The 6th Sense when she drops his wedding ring & you realize he's been dead the whole time? Well I want a divorce
@markleggett: MAJOR TOM: Tell my wife I love her very much… GROUND CONTROL: She knows. MAJOR TOM: Wait… Is she with you now? GROUND CONTROL: Bye, Tom.
@sammyrhodes: Do they make a scale that says things like "Those shorts probably weigh, what, like 15 pounds?"
@realHamOnWry: According to the most current magazine in this doctor's office, every home in America will have a television by 1962.