@Tuna_Lover: Just spent $243.57 at the grocery store so the check out girl didn't think I was just buying KY and condoms.
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@quikkim: *Approaches a guy reading "Catch Me If You Can"* I love that book. The way he just *clenches fist* catches all those freakin' cans.
@DirtMcTurd: I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes.
@TheReal_AndyMac: When a woman says, "We need to talk", it's no good. Never has a woman said, "We need to talk" and followed it up with "about pillow forts".
@NamestartswithZ: Two gunslingers face each other in the street, waiting to draw. Minutes pass. I'm still obliviously standing between them sipping a Slurpee.