@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new diet where I order Wendy's salad and then eat all my kids' fries.
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@LisaFarted: The last time I twisted the night away it resulted in two law suits and a medicare plan.
@WheelTod: Seduce Angela Merkel by fondling the hem of her cardigan while whispering "Aren't you too pretty to be a Chancellor?"
@VeganZebra: [Barber gets out a small mirror to show an owl the back of its head] Owl: No I got it *rotates* Owl: Wait where'd it- *rotates* Owl: Ok help
@joejwest: "murder" she wrote "your password must contain at least one number and one upper case letter" the screen said "murd3R" she wrote, frowning