@DanMentos: just taught my 3yo to sing "if you're happy and you've no wit, clap your hands" and then laugh at the people clapping
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@goldengateblond: There's a crying baby on my bus and I'm all "shut up baby, you're not the one going to work."
@str8upjuggahos: How can a middle aged unemployed rat with 4 teenage turtles afford so much pizza?
@blade_funner: "You suck." "No, you suck." "Really, you suck." "Please, you suck." "You suck, I insist." -- Polite vampires.