@prodnose: Just thought of way to discourage teenage smoking. Instead of saying "Cancer" on boxes replace it with the word "Acne".
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@ArielBen6: Ebola has been in the US for 1 day and people are already wearing masks. AIDS has been here for 55 years and fools still don't use a condom
@Cheeseboy22: If the Pottery Barn didn't want me to bring my goat in the store, they shouldn't have called it a barn.
@jordan_stratton: I wonder what song the Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make a bikini top?
@OfficialMizGin: Guy at the cake shop: So is this for a friend? Me: No, it’s for me. Apparently it’s weird that I’ve had 9 birthdays this year.