@Tbone7219: Just took my girlfriend to the movies and now I'm $10,000 in debt.
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@badenhorst: Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
@wheatnik: My bucket list is just the words "afford things" written in orange crayon on a paper towel.
@Cali_Kid_Mike: Narcissist? Let's just calm down with the big words and keep this conversation about me.
@markedly: MANAGER: You're hired! The pay is $200 per hour, plus benefits. The first thing you need to do is make a phone call to-- ME: I quit