@Tbone7219: Just took my girlfriend to the movies and now I'm $10,000 in debt.
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@NickBossRoss: A friend and I just decided that in 10 years if we aren't married we will tell each other what's honestly wrong about ourselves.
@geekysteven: Science fact: If you took a human intestinal tract and stretched it from the Earth to the Moon, you would definitely get fired from NASA.
@hamspamtymaam: If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they've been drinking in order to establish dominance.