@WilliamAder: Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people.
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@jonnysun: "no one cares abot ur plan to dig to the center of the earth! the world doesnt revolve around you!" she said. "IT WILL IF MY PLAN WORKS THO"
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Hey old couples. Email addresses are free. You can each have your own. Wait... Just gave that more thought. Forget it. Keep sharing.
@LADaddy: We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.