@TheTweetOfGod: Just updated My Facebook status from "Single" to "In a Trinity". #wayoverdue
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@unknownshoulder: Batman: "Shall we watch a film?" Superman: "Have you got Cape Fear?" Batman: "Only in revolving doors. Now, a film?"
@iRowlf: My girlfriend thinks that I can't cook, but as soon as I figure out how much Play-Doh is supposed to go in meatloaf, I'll prove her wrong.
@theshamingofjay: A disease that kills you and can only be spread through the transmission of bodily fluids. Are we sure we're not talking about marriage?