@TheTweetOfGod: Just updated My Facebook status from "Single" to "In a Trinity". #wayoverdue
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@NervousJr: People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.
@jonnysun: JEDI WHO INVENTED LIGHTSABER: ok its a destructive laser sword so maybe we shoudnt wear anythig too flowy JEDI IN CHARGE OF COSTUMES: …OORR
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: How dilated is she? Nurse: 4 centimeters. Me: This is America. Nurse: 0.000198838 furlongs.