@jakob_huber: Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
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@DecantAndPour: I drink a glass of red wine a day for health benefits. The other 7 glasses are just for me.
@alfageeek: What's the new etiquette rule: am I supposed to wait until everyone is done photographing their meals before I start eating mine?
@Tmoney68: "Stomach...Lungs...Kidneys....Heart." - Me, at my organ recital. (Not even slightly sorry)
@BriarSlyMalice: I told my kids I'd rather they "pull the plug" than let me live in a vegetative state dependent on machines. So they hid my phone charger.