@jakob_huber: Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
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@Brampersandon_: Longest English word: 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosi' Longest Spanish word: 'GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL'
@causticbob: My wife said "You only love me because my father left me a million pounds." "That's not true, I'd still love you whoever left it to you"
@Beerhaze: If I give up my seat for you on the bus, it's my right to stand in front of you and stare down your blouse. I think it's in the Bible.