@jakob_huber: Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
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@david8hughes: Wife: when did we get a new dishwasher Me: u said change the dishwasher & stack the baby Wife: how do u stack a baby Me: u get other babies
@ArfMeasures: [1st date] DATE: When I'm with a handsome man I get all nervous & involuntarily start speaking French ME [leans across] Oh really? DATE: Yes