@ScottyBondo: Just walked into my local court house, they were all sitting around in a circle with black candles and robes trying to summon a jury #funny
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@yassinovic89: What if Aliens don't want to visit us because they're all women and they want us to make the first move.
@iwearaonesie: [Jurassic Park] kid: What do you call a blind dinosaur? me: What? kid: Do-you-think-he-saurus me *pushes him out of the tree*