@slyoung5: Just want to apologize to all the unlucky women that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped him.
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@SatansTongue: *slips a 20* How about a private dance "Okay let's go" *heads to private room* "You ready?" Oh hell yeah *we both do the cha cha slide*
@TheDairylandDon: I swallow at least one note per meal that says "we're all really proud of you," in case the person who does my autopsy is having a bad day.
@KeetPotato: [inventing humans] god: "they should have complete control of their tongue" angel: "um ok" god: "let me finish.. except when using scissors"
@krisv_723: I just got a text saying they lost my cell number & could I send it. This is the level of stupid I deal with.