@slyoung5: Just want to apologize to all the unlucky women that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped him.
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@patsajak: Told my dog I was feeding him only natural, holistic food. Not sure he could hear me over slurping of water from toilet.
@MableGertrude: If I was a bodybuilder I would slather up with grease and slide to work instead of driving to save money.
@StellaGMaddox: My daughter wrote, "I will see you every day of our lives," on my Mother's Day card, so I guess we've resorted to threats now.
@ghostkrogh: judge: 99 yrs me: is it cos i called ur gavel a justice hammer? judge: no that actually helped me: killing then judge: yeah the killing