@slyoung5: Just want to apologize to all the unlucky women that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped him.
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@ActingAnEejit: It's illegal to tie your children to things but you can basically do the same by buying them a phone with a short charger and a bad battery.
@TechnicallyRon: Christmas as a child: "Socks and Money? This is ridiculous!" Christmas as an adult: "SOCKS AND MONEY? HOW DID YOU KNOW? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. I LOVE YOU"
@prettysadmostly: I love watching a bird of prey in flight, soaring through the--nevermind its a trash bag everything sucks
@TheAlexNevil: When the Olympics adds a Parent Shaking Head In Disbelief At His Child competition, I will do our country proud.