@aLunchBox: Just watched the movie 2012 and honestly I don't remember any of that happening.
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@WheelTod: My career as a karate instructor was tragically curtailed when parents found out I was wholly unqualified & just enjoyed kicking children.
@jp_mcdade: Wow, I wish people were into politics as much as they're into sports. *meets someone who's really into politics* Wow, I wish I was dead.
@SteveDutzy: FUN PRANK: Bump into Kanye in public, pretend you don't recognize him, and say "EXCUSE ME ORDINARY CITIZEN" Then watch how mad he gets.
@Dadsbustednuts: I caught my employee sleeping on my office couch today. I didn't know if I should fire him, or tell him what I did on it last night.