@ValeeGrrl: Just when you think parenting can't be any weirder, you find yourself consoling your son, upset that he can't get a squirrel to hug him.
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@WilliamAder: Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that's Fahrenheit or centigrade.
@stonedcognition: These cat babies are straight up gangsta. I'm going to name them all after Friends characters. The one I hate will be Ross.
@SuchaDumbWorld: To my American friends: On Sunday, don't forget to set your clocks back one hour. On Tuesday, try not to set your country back 50 years.
@jasonlight73: After my date orders, I always tell the waiter "Nothing for me..I'll be eating later" Then wink at my date & raise my eyebrows suggestively!