@ValeeGrrl: Just when you think parenting can't be any weirder, you find yourself consoling your son, upset that he can't get a squirrel to hug him.
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@TheToddWilliams: [Hall of Justice] Aquaman: How do you expect me to ignite the TNT below Kaiser's floating fortress? Waterproof Match Man: Maybe I can help.
@drinksmcgee: My kids are in Karate class and I'm just sitting here thinking that I could kick the shit out of half these 6 year olds.
@iGreenMonk: My girlfriend says she doesn't trust me. At least that's one thing she has in common with my wife.
@NikiWithIssues: He's taking you for granted? Act differently. Do something spontaneous. Spice things up. Sleep with his friend.