@KevinBuffalo: Justin Timberlake postponing his Buffalo show Sat. & then going on Fallon is like that time I called in sick & tweeted a selfie on a boat.
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@DiamondLou69: Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out that I'm just after my money.
@GhostPanther: Amazing how easily that guy scaled Trump Tower. Thank God u can't get suction cups in Mexico cause then wall idea would be really stupid.
@causticbob: BREAKING: Swiss Police confirm that, when arrested, all seven FIFA officials threw themselves on the ground and pretended to be injured.