@KevinBuffalo: Justin Timberlake postponing his Buffalo show Sat. & then going on Fallon is like that time I called in sick & tweeted a selfie on a boat.
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@ericsshadow: My wife & I went to a costume party as each other. She walked around pointing at things, asking how much they cost. I showed up 2 hrs late.
@PeterMolydeux: You know, my dream for gaming is where in one game you'll shoot someone and then during a game of say Fifa you'll see their son crying
@dreamthievin: Everything I know about sex I learned from Tetris: rotate it and hope it fits in another slot
@PaulyPeligroso: They call Japan the "Land of the Rising Sun". Is that why they look like they're squinting all the time?