@fightforfood: Karen, if you can see this, the tupperware didn't come with the lasagna. The tupperware wasn't a gift
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@jjhartinger: 1995: [goes to store, video is rented] Maybe next time 2017: [netflix takes 5 mins to load] This is a nightmare
@curlymalloy: My boyfriend wakes me up when he wants to have sex... Do I wake him up when I want to buy shoes???... No!!!
@WilliamAder: Co-worker playfully snapped my suspenders and now everyone in the office knows my safe word.