@fightforfood: Karen, if you can see this, the tupperware didn't come with the lasagna. The tupperware wasn't a gift
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@MoneypennyNaked: Apparently even if you delete the drunk text messages you sent last night from your phone, the other person can still see them.
@LoveNLunchmeat: My son just choked on food laughing, and I'm torn between being concerned and marvelling that one of my jokes almost literally killed someone.
@just1fool: Apparently there's this Pokemon character that's a pile of garbage with a face so now I'm famous I guess.
@KalvinMacleod: [skydiving, first jump] INSTRUCTOR: everyone ready? EAGLE: yes. HAWK: check. SPARROW: ready. PENGUIN: this is a really bad idea.