@fightforfood: Karen, if you can see this, the tupperware didn't come with the lasagna. The tupperware wasn't a gift
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@amydillon: When you have kids, "sleeping in" is just lying in bed trying to figure out what that crash was.
@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: So do you have any hobbies? SALT SHAKER: Nice dress! It would look great on my floor HER: What?! HIM: Just ventriloquism
@Just__J0: My daughter labeled me BIRTH GIVER in her phone. I'm thinking about labeling her THANKS FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY BODY.
@KentWGraham: I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.