@LizHackett: Keen silence from a dinner guest as she looks across the living room and realizes I made her bridesmaid dress into a dog bed.
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@TheAlexNevil: CW: Who's the more the foolish: the fool, or the- Me: Ted, I don't have time for this, so I'm going to slap you hard then take myself to HR.
@Super_Cynthia: I KEPT MY CAPS LOCK ON WHEN I SEARCHED RECIPES FOR DINNER TONIGHT AND NOW GORDON RAMSEY IS IN MY KITCHEN
@pinningnut: "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches"