@Chumpstring: Keep a few cat turds in your pockets, just in case a cop searches you. He will get cat poop on his hands, and you can laugh. It's all legal.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KKAlThani: *throws a grenade at Bruno Mars' girlfriend* *Bruno Mars appears out of nowhere and catches it* *it explodes and both of them die*
@curlymalloy: I helped a little old lady at the market today.. She was too short to grab a box of cereal from the top shelf, so I stood on her shoulders!
@hollyberryness: The early bird gets the worm but the early worm gets eaten, so... I choose sleep.
@bridger_w: "Oh, no. No, no, no. Are you kidding me?" -First thing I would say if someone raised me from the dead