@Chumpstring: Keep a few cat turds in your pockets, just in case a cop searches you. He will get cat poop on his hands, and you can laugh. It's all legal.
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@msdanifernandez: I can't. I'm busy tonight. I have to do laundry and block everyone who takes their engagement photos in a barn.
@Ohgoddessitsme: I just accidentally opened the door for a jehovah's Witness and he took one look at me and just walked away.
@E_lok44: *puts down window Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Yes *puts up window and drives away