@tourettzgoth: Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
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@rachaelkelly18: I love how coffee tricks me into believing I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes
@max_read: i wonder what it's like to be the pizzagate gun guy and discover that your former comrades now believe that you're a crisis actor
@noogscorner: Batman: *puts on glasses* Hey do I still look like Bruce Wayne? Superman: Um obviously. Batman: Think about that for a second.