@KeepCaIm: Keep calm and text a random number..."I'm pregnant"
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@rpbateman: Sometimes I tell myself that everything that I've been through in life is totally worth it. Then I laugh hysterically.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: ~ Gets old. Puts car keys in 'better' place so I won't lose them ~ Can't find keys, has thrombosis—Dies ~ Comes back as ghost … finds keys