@LemmingDad: Keep in mind that parenting guides are written by people with enough free time & financial resources to write a parenting guide.
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@Tommytoughstuff: [Bank robbery] *Other robbers jump into getaway van* "DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!" "Okie dokie." * Starts to adjust mirrors*
@BackrowSeats: If you come across a stranger in a dark alley immediately hug him so he knows you're not a threat.
@fro_vo: me folding laundry: ugh another sock is missing puppet on my hand: how does that keep happening
@CherBear162: "Remember Robert from work?" Yeah..he was a douche. "He died." WHAT?!? OMG..He was such a nice guy!