@LemmingDad: Keep in mind that parenting guides are written by people with enough free time & financial resources to write a parenting guide.
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@buy_2_hams: *Evanescence* (Buy two hams!) Buy two hams right now! (I need two hams!) I need two sopping hams (SAAAAVE ME)
@david8hughes: [911 call] "My hand's stuck in a blender!" "Turn it on then." "What?" " I can't hear it, turn it on so I know you're not lying."
@KentWGraham: I’m glad they call themselves attorneys-at-law. I wouldn’t want to accidently hire an attorney-at-baking or an attorney-at-pottery.
@Vodkantots: It's all fun and games until someone from real life recognizes you and you realize you're too small to drag off the body.