@OhNoSheTwitnt: Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.
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@DurtMcHurtt: "They're like a sponge at this age" I say to the parents of the baby I'm using to scrub dishes with.
@SortaBad: *Spends 30 min practicing Starbucks order in mirror* *Feels confident* *"Hi I'd like a grander ahoy Ralph Macchioatto lateenbay"* *dammit*
@FrenulumBreve: BOSS: I'm sorry I just don't trust your judgment. ME: [trying to pick up glass of water with both fists wedged in Pringles tubes] explain..