@amydillon: [kicks in your door to apologize to you]
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: I gave my baby a teething toy so she would stop chewing on my fingers. She wasn't interested because it didn't scream out in pain.
@BFNotAllowed: My boyfriend isn't allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.
@juneohara65: Me: "Bless me father, it's been 13,505 days since my last confession." Priest: "You're off to a bad start."