@JasonBanksComic: Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I'll have a water and my son will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids bud light.
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@markydoodoo: [Shark Tank] INVESTOR: So, it's a bra, with a built in queso holder? ME: Yep INVESTOR: And you call it the- ME: The Bracho, yes
@jordan_stratton: *makes eye contact with beautiful woman across fancy restaurant* Waiter, send that woman a glass of your finest Sprite.
@BritXNic: Been told I'm a pretty awful human being. I stopped listening after he said I was pretty.