@dafloydsta: ME: I’m going to stick my resolutions this year.
MORGAN FREEMAN: But he would not stick to his resolutions. In fact, he would break every single one of them. And then some.
@StevieKnip: Son: I'm gay, dad.
Dad: no I'm gay dad
Dad #2: no I'm gay dad
@blaha_Who: Drive me up the wall, so I know you're 4 wheel
@CourtneyBale: Fun prank: a chameleon exhibit with no chameleon.
@JohnLyonTweets: I hate it when I'm naked and all lathered up with soap and then run out of quarters at the car wash.
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