@KKAlThani: Kim and Kanye are now planning to have their wedding in Egypt. See Egyptians, things could always be worse.
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@pleatedjeans: [Xmas morning] wife: Honey, is this a dolphin? We agreed no dolphins. "dolphin-shaped gift flopping wildly under tree* me: JUST OPEN IT
@Darlainky: A bank safety deposit box may seem extreme, but you don't understand how hard it is to hide a box of Girl Scout cookies from my family.