@KalvinMacleod: Kind of cruel that "stutter" has two syllables.
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@idigcrazychics: Easiest way to break into a moble home in a trailer park is to use a can opener.
@XplodingUnicorn: [breaking up yet another fight] Me: Why do you always fight with your sisters? 6-year-old: Because I always win.
@ArfMeasures: ME: Ugh hate summer when bees are flying everywhere BEE [angrily undoing seatbelt on plane] I'm gonna sting him BEE WIFE:Just leave it David