@Dawn_M_: Kinda rude the way this hedgehog is running away from me when I'm trying to stick cheese on his spikes.
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@davedittell: they say if you love something let it go but tell that to my dead husband I dropped into a volcano from this helicopter and he'd disagree
@samalmightysam: I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
@elle91: Me: God, I just feel so Brain: HUNGRY M: No, I'm very alone. I desperately want B: FOOD M: Part of me is missing. All I need is B: PRINGLES
@AsianOtherWhite: My dog has figured out I'm Chinese. He totally tried to make a run for it. Silly dog, I'm not going to eat you until I train a replacement.