@rzarosco: Knock on your neighbors door and ask if they've seen your cat. When they say no pull your cat out of your pocket and make the introductions
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@meganamram: I don't need to watch the debates, I read a bumper sticker the other day that totally convinced me
@JoshuaHvr: This is your brain- *holds out egg* This is your brain on drugs- *puts egg on ground, spins it while shining lazers on it*
@Marlebean: Dear future self, No, you weren't robbed. You left your house like this. Sincerely, You, you dumb slob.
@envydatropic: I'm at the age where "pop, lock, and drop" is about my knee giving out instead of dance moves