@croninwhocares: "Know what, son? We should do all of our miracles before cameras exist." - God
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@timdonakowski: Nothing is worse than having jock itch. ESPECIALLY within 100 ft of a school or playground.
@MelvinofYork: My daughter gets all bossy when we’re playing with her Barbies, but I just smile. Then when she’s at school I play with them the way I want.
@famouscrab: u know how sum people get amnesia well i got opposite amnesia i remember everything ask me what i ate this morning. breakfast next question
@Emperor_Laykes: One advantage of being a woman is no one can surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom.