@pmann555: Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
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@RandomAntics: Woman: Please send an ambulance, I'm having contradictions!! Operator: Ma'am, do you mean 'contractions'? Woman: Yes! No!
@XplodingUnicorn: If you still have a landline, I assume you also own a butter churn and ride a dinosaur to work.
@joeljeffrey: The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.