@pmann555: Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
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@scenesfromahat: As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
@Token_Geezer: Why did he do that? Who is she? What does that mean? When did that happen? Why? How? I need to go to the toilet. - Child, at the cinema
@thejamietighe: *turns off life support* *waits* *turns it back on* Me: How's she now? Him: Are you sure you're a doctor? Me: Doct... No, I'm from IT.
@dshack8: Coworker: Do u have a phone charger? Me: No. CW: How about the 1 on your desk? Me: WHO ARE U CALLING A JIGGABOO LINDA?! CW: OMG! *runs away*