@pmann555: Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
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@killazilla: My sis just asked if sugar goes bad. Now I can't stop picturing it bullying the other spices and selling pot.
@iwearaonesie: [Bar] me: Gimme one more wife: I think you've had enough m: Last one w: Fine m: *asks waitress for another kids menu so I can do the maze*
@DurtMcHurtt: I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you're set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you.
@kcmoore51: [sanitation worker knocks at my door] The amount of McDonald's related trash we're collecting from your home each week has us concerned.