@markhoppus: Kylo Ren is so tortured because he can’t decide if his final form is supposed to be goth or emo.
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@bornmiserable: I want to be a Walmart greeter just so I can tell customers who come in "everyone enters, but not everyone leaves"
@bourgeoisalien: Sometimes to take a break from frightening election news, I watch something far less horrifying like 'The Shining' or 'Silence of the Lambs'
@slaughthie: My coworker was like "I love kids! Can't finish a whole one by myself though hahaha!" And I was just like wow I could easily eat like 5.