@markhoppus: Kylo Ren is so tortured because he can’t decide if his final form is supposed to be goth or emo.
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@causticbob: Following the leaking of nude photo's of Kim Kardashian, her personal assistant has been sacked for the delay.
@dafloydsta: FRIEND: Women like when you're mysterious ME: Okay [later on date] HER: So where are we going tonight? ME: None of your goddamn business
@IrishVin: I love walking down the street smiling to myself. It really freaks people out. Especially if my trousers are round my ankles.