@markhoppus: Kylo Ren is so tortured because he can’t decide if his final form is supposed to be goth or emo.
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@michael_raphone: there's two types of people inthe world: cops who are a week from retirement and robbers who want to go straight but have to do one last job
@MoneypennyNaked: Me: Look! I took the giant box that the t.v. came in & made it into a really cool cat house! Mom: So you're still not dating anyone, I see.
@katiefzack: If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.