@BroIsMeeeee: Ladies call me the mitochondria because they kinda remember me from high school and i'm in a cell
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@RobDenBleyker: It's always funny when the flight attendant says "we know you have a choice of airlines" as if free will exists.
@mishakey: Him: Get on my level. Me: You're a gamer? Him: .... Me: .... Him: You need to get out more. Me: *mumbles* Your face needs to get out more.
@AdmiralAkbrown: I get so fustrated when people say "supposably" or "irregardless" I feel like I'm literally drownding
@KentWGraham: After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. Usually at family gatherings where she threatens me if I don’t look happy.