@BroIsMeeeee: Ladies call me the mitochondria because they kinda remember me from high school and i'm in a cell
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@PaulyPeligroso: A man caught me applying chap stick, so I just started eating it so it wouldn't be weird.
@causticbob: Today. I. Realized. That. Typing. Like. This. Doesn't. Make. Your. Point. Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has. Asthma