@LostCatDog: Ladies call me "the turkey sandwich" because I seem bland and boring at first, but then I continue to be boring.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@InternetHippo: BEN CARSON’S WIFE: Are you coming home for dinner BEN CARSON: Go to ben carson dot com and read my plan to come home for dinner
@Donnie_Fairburn: Women say they like a man in uniform but I've been wearing this naughty nurse outfit all day and not a single woman has approached me yet :(
@eeethanford: But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more to be the man who walked 1000 miles to get away from you. I want a divorce.
@theSwellMan: Probably the worst thing about dying a virgin would be all the dead terrorists that are waiting for you.