@PimpBillClinton: Ladies, don't tell me you care about the environment if you don't support my "Share a Shower" water conservation program.
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@FuckabillyRex: Stop talking about being sad. Use a bigger word like despondent so people will at least think you're an intelligent cry baby.
@SondraDeeMe: You going to eat those sausages? - What? The encased meats. Do you want them? - Those are my fingers. Oh, no thanks, I'm not there yet.
@rickkondell: I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
@Kobykincaid: One of the first things they tell you in AA is to stop hanging around alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back.