@JesKeepSwimming: Ladies, if a guy tells you "Leggings aren't pants," tell him "You're welcome."
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@philco816: Feed your kids soup for dinner, so you can sit at the table for 47 minutes and listening to slurping.
@Bill_Nye_Tho__: elephants sleep standing up you could be chillin with an elephant and at any moment they could just be like "lmao for sure, g'night"
@UncleDuke1969: [Heaven] Me: What happened? God: You were sending a DM & got hit by a bus. Me: I only have one ques- God: Sorry, man. She was totes a dude.