@DeanScott01: Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every six months about it.
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@HogwartsLogic: If you ever feel bad about your procrastination, Harry had three month to figure out the egg clue and still did it the night before
@HockeyTornado: I keep a second pair of shoes at work, I don't want people to recognize me when I'm pooping.
@SenatorBigfoot: Alright, alright. You can all have jet packs! [two days later] Reporter: Another 8000 dead today due to sky rage.
@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: So do you have any hobbies? SALT SHAKER: Nice dress! It would look great on my floor HER: What?! HIM: Just ventriloquism