@DeanScott01: Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every six months about it.
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@WilliamAder: Do people really expect to have a satisfying experience on a website that ends with ".gov"?
@TheTweetOfGod: If you asked Jesus on the cross what he wanted the holiday marking his death to be called, "Good Friday" would not have leaped to his mind.
@tastefactory: COP: do you know why I pulled you over? COP'S WIFE: *now next to him on the couch* Because you're scared of the movie COP: Yes it's too real
@iAmDelFreaky: If I could set people on fire with a single stare, a lot of innocents would die. "Sorry sir, we are closed." FIRE! "Good morning." FIRE!