@JVarsityCaptain: Ladies, wonder if he's busy or ignoring your texts? Offer to send nudes. If he instantly responds, he was totally ignoring you before.
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@Parkerlawyer: 6, holding a pic of me pregnant with him, "Why are you SO FAT?" Me, "You're inside my tummy." 6, "That's DISGUSTING." Me, "It gets worse.."
@Bownuggets: Boss: OMFG man what happened to ur eye? [cut to me riding a horse into the garage door during medieval role play] "I ran into a door"
@JustEnduring: WANTED: Someone to have my babies and carry on my family name. No strings attached. You can even keep the kids.
@jazmasta: *i get on a rollercoaster with my washing machine* "Hold tight son...WAIT! If u are here then.." *son is at home w/ a mouth full of laundry*