@inSanelySami: Lance Armstrong should keep his awards. Last time I rode a bike doped up, I ran into a parked zebra.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pleatedjeans: idea: business cards that just say NO Sir can I have 5 mins of ur [card] Girl can I get ur number [card] BRO DID U STEAL MY NO CARDS [card]
@iAmJuddy: Wifey: We should get a chest freezer. Me: We don't need a freezer that big. Wifey: What if we need to hide bodies? Me: I love you.
@QwertyJones3: Would you like to learn about the Mormon Church? "No thanks." Don't judge too quickly. We have a lot of sects... "WHERE DO I SIGN UP?"