@inSanelySami: Lance Armstrong should keep his awards. Last time I rode a bike doped up, I ran into a parked zebra.
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@Tharin_P: Bank ads make me want to hide my money under my mattress. They also make me want to acquire some money for hiding, but that's a side issue.
@PaperWash: I quit smoking cold turkey 1 year ago but sometimes I still get the urge to go into fridge and light up a slice
@bromanconsul: met the cutest girl today. her eyes were gentle, like the light from a phone screen and her smile glowed, like the light from a phone screen
@DBMaxP: Nothing says "Proper Retirement Planning" like a garbage can full of losing lottery tickets