@ilovepie84: Lassie once told me a boy fell down a well, but since no one else can speak dog I ignored it because I was building a furniture fort.
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@PharmerRPh: Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
@bea_ker: Newsreader: Police are asking anyone with any information- Me: [shouting at TV] You lose 90% of your heat from your head
@TheBoydP: I'm guessing whoever said "There's no point beating a dead horse" has never been in a zombie apocalypse.