@LMLMadness: Last night I did Crossfit for the first time and now I understand why those people always look so angry.
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@Book_Krazy: Boss: Did you take Mike's stapler and leave a note demanding that he meet you for drinks later? Me: WHAT!?! Noooo....wait, did he say yes?
@ceejoyner: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone if you want babies throwing rocks everywhere. Dangerous.
@Kristen_R5: summer is real cute until every frickin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
@AnOrangeSNES: [Kitchen] Me: I'm a were-state. When the moon is full I turn into a US state. Wife: No you don't the moon is full now. Me: *Illinois noises*