@hipchkk: Last night my mom made dinner, serving up a nice plate of "You had so much potential" with a steaming side of "You shoulda married Jeff."
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@Tom_Vom: It sounded like someone on a moped was approaching but it turned out to be 1,000 bees on a regular bicycle.
@Tormny_Pickeals: *passes thru suburbs* roll up ur window, son. this is a bad neighborhood. this is where ppl who comment on newspaper articles live
@JohnLyonTweets: Jiminy Cricket: [singing] Always let your conscience be your g– Me: *sprays insect repellent*