@iamkevinito: Last night my wife got pissed because I kicked the ice cubes I dropped under the refrigerator. But now it's just water under the fridge.
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@Ohhialypie: Girls: I'd invite you in but my place is a mess Guys: I don't mind Girls: Like a huge mess Guys: ok Girls: Like dead bodies on fire Guys: ok
@flashember: Meow meow meow [Wife comes home early] MEOW! *cats scramble to untie me from the torture rack* THELMA I TOLD YOU THE CATS HATE ME I TOLD YOU