@weinerdog4life: Last time I did drugs I dated an All-In-One Printer for 3 days, so no thank you.
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@DaNaLa13: Food Network makes me feel like a perv: Beat it It's not moist enough My wrist is tired Look how thick it's getting It's all about flavor
@mattgallo123: Everyone's like "the things I want for Christmas can't be bought." And I'm like "Legos. I want legos."
@jaslakhmna: You may have a drinking problem - when your mother asks you to toast the bread.....and you raise your glass and say "here's to the bread"!
@BobScottCPA: But people, if you have a gift card that is all used up, do not drop it in a urinal please—it's a Big letdown to fish it out all for nothing