@just1fool: Last time I went to the doctor he prescribed constipation medicine to clear up my earwax. He was right about me being a shithead apparently.
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@lazerdoov: Me: check out this new gadget. It carbonates anything! Friend: cool Me: yeah even blood Friend: um I gotta go Me: lol no you're staying
@MrT1M: Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard. No? Ok, I'll show myself out.
@iwearaonesie: if people really didn't want to hear smartass responses they wouldn't keep asking questions like "do you know why i pulled you over?"