@JPHaddadio: Last year I ate out alone on Valentine's Day. To avoid embarrassment, I yacked the whole time with a lovely couple the next table over.
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@Parentpains: I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
@aliterative: If you love someone, let them go. If they don't come back, detonate the explosive collar.
@Brianhopecomedy: And the award for Best Actress goes to...*opens envelope*....my 4 year old daughter for her overly-dramatic scene in "Bath Time".