@Contwixt: Lately I go to the restroom at the movies, but forget where I'm seated then return & just begin a new life in a new seat with a new family.
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@TheMichaelRock: Boss: Why did you call off yesterday? Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.
@aveuaskew: Keep salespeople from pestering you by asking what type of saw can cut through bone and sinew the quickest.
@DaveWeasel: If you don't like the way you look naked, remember; by the time you have your clothes off, its the other person's problem.