@KentWGraham: Latest election news: Donald Trump narrowly leads Hillary Clinton by 4 lies.
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@nbadag: PASTOR: and the lord said unto us—can u stop please? it's very distracting ME: [bouncing up & down on yoga ball] i don't think he said that
@hippieswordfish: ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong
@PaperWash: Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy Judge: what's upsexy? [lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance