@JamesonN7: Lawyers out there, if I see any of my Tweets being used on Comedy Central can I sue..... Oh you don't think that will ever be an issue, okay
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@_davidlucas_: If I reject your call the first two times, ring me again. I'm really just testing your resolve.
@mejustbeth: Tried to be sly and shove the whole cookie in my mouth without him seeing me. Then he turned around and asked me a question.
@ericsshadow: 20's: I can't remember where I left my keys 30's: I can't remember where I left my car 40's: I can't remember where I left my kids
@Shelts99: Neighbour:How's the wife? Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant? Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next