@TheIronSherk: Learned today that it's about 12 min after realizing there's no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are
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@dorsalstream: Your 20s: I will strive for goodness and peace in this troubled world. Your 40s: Every single chair is terrible.
@AndrewNadeau0: I eat something every 29 minutes just to ensure no one can ever make me go swimming.
@dubstep4dads: "hey dad, when did they outlaw hyperboles?" "hmm i dont know son, like a bajillion million years ago? idiot" *cops bust down door*
@AristotlesNZ: Love how dog food commercials advertise tastier formulas like that matters when deciding what to buy & feed a pet who eats its own vomit.