@jeffreyr77: Learning karate in case I'm ever attacked by cinder blocks and wood planks.
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@Midgetspar: You don't understand how hard it is to play Dungeons & Dragons when your dragon is gay, fabulous and always protesting violence. It's hard.
@bakedbrotatoes: -This is my son Michelangelo. -Oh, like the artist. -Um no like the Ninja Turtle.
@AaronMichael_: Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
@huntigula: Me: If Obi-Wan's clothes remained after Vader killed him, then why wasn't ghost Obi-Wan naked? My date: [to waiter] Check, please.